


chamber of secrets

by wwofyou



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Minor Lu Han/Oh Sehun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 17:29:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13171767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wwofyou/pseuds/wwofyou
Summary: baekhyun can’t stand the quidditch captain, chanyeol, but turns out they have more in common than he had originally thought.





	chamber of secrets

**Author's Note:**

> hi heather here is everything uve ever wanted  
> btw: https://www.rapidtables.com/convert/number/binary-to-ascii.html

baekhyun looks up from his bed in the slytherin dormitories at his roommate and best friend, jongin.

“arrr matey, where’r tha drunken sailor blows? arrrrrr?” 

jongin does not understand. he tells baekhyun that he does not understand. 

“sorry,” baekhyun replies. “i was speaking pirate, being a pirate for 18 years of my life does that to me. arrrrrr. where is chanyeol?” (psa: even though by 18 baekhyun would have graduated, it makes me uncomfortable when they support 2nd years baekyeol because they’re 13 or something. so i had to clarify. also #legal.)

“oh,” says jongin. “he’s over there on the quidditch field practicing with sehun. what’s wrong?” 

baekhyun hops off the bed and fixes his long robes. “nothing, just wanted to go punch him in the face. because we’re enemies with sexual tension.” 

jongin nods and slides onto his own bed, ready for a nap. 

baekhyun walks outside and admires the nature surrounding hogwarts. many people ignore the view, but baekhyun takes time to take it in. he’s bending down to admire the elves taking care of the roses when someone kicks him in the stomach. hard.

baekhyun growls as he grinds his teeth together, looking up. 

chanyeol. 

captain of the gryffindor quidditch team, he was a teacher favorite as well as a fan favorite. girls threw themselves at his feet when they saw the half pirate half wizard stroll through the school with his friends by his side. unsurprisingly, he got along extremely well with all people, no matter their house or blood. all except said byun baekhyun, who wobbled to his feet. 

“arrrrrr raughhh whales(hey doodle),” chanyeol spits in pirate language. “arrr arrr ya ha ha(stand up and face me).” 

chanyeol comes up close to baekhyun, so close their breaths mingle. baekhyun leans in so they’re millimeters away before giving him a dry laugh and a kick to his groin. chanyeol steps back, cursing in more arrrs. 

“see you on the field,” baekhyun says. “we’ll be crushing you.” 

chanyeol smirks. “we’ll see about that.” 

sehun turns and asks one of the players on chanyeol’s team to translate. “what does he mean by arrr ya ya ha?” 

the player turns. “it means that they’re actually zombies.” 

sehun, startled by the beautiful voice and the sheer wisdom of the gryffindor player kiss kiss falls in love. “what is your name,” sehun asks. 

“luhan,” luhan replies. then they both drop hogwarts and three months later find themselves on the corner of somewhere in a small village off the coast of iceland cooking each other breakfast. 

time skip lolz now it’s game day. baekhyun and chanyeol beat each other up every day, so they’re both purple with bruises. chanyeol is bigger according to everyone, so he usually wins leaving baekhyun hot and flustered because baekhyun has weird undetermined factors(psa: they are kinks).

baekhyun comes up with his firebolt that he’s spray painted green along the rod. chanyeol’s rod is hard. 

the game starts and chanyeol’s team is immediately at a disadvantage. without luhan, their talented seeker, they fear they’ll lose the game. hufflepuff replaced sehun easily. sehun didn’t do anything. 

anotha ~skip~ lolz baekhyun beats chanyeol. “arrrrr(how does it feel to lose?” he laughs. 

chanyeol’s eyebrows furrow and he jumps baekhyun. long story short wow baekhyun is in chanyeol’s lap. they are both red and breathing hard. 

baekhyun realizes what position they’re in and flushes harder, still angry. 

he huffs out a weak, “arrrr matey(what do you think you’re doing?” 

chanyeol refuses to make eye contact with him. “arrrghhss(you started it),” he replies.

baekhyun stares and realizes that chanyeol is actually really ugly. i mean pretty. chanyeol is very pr*tty. 

chanyeol look up in surprise. “you really mean that?” he says in normal english. 

“yes, i want to fancy your nuts.” baekhyun replies. 

chanyeol gives him his peanuts that were in his chest pocket. baekhyun eats the peanuts. 

mcgonagall comes over and gives both of them detentions for being in compromising positions. 

baekhyun shows up to the detention nervous. there was a party the night before and he got drunk and did some bad stuff that won’t be named but there’s always a party getting drunk part in baekyeol fics where baekhyun does something he regrets. there is angst. be sad.

“hi,” chanyeol says after detention. detention is boring, baekhyun just does his care of magical creatures notes. baekhyun looks up and his heart jumps to his throat. chanyeol is looking particularly ugly. i mean pretty. with his hair pushed back. 

“i like you.” chanyeol says. baekhyun nods. “i think you’re very cute and i threw you around because you threw me around. i wrote you a card.” 

chanyeol hands baekhyun a really big card with a smiley face wearing a pirate mask on it. baekhyun smiles at the front and opens it. when he opens it, he couldn’t believe his eyes at what it said. 

“0110100100100000011101110110000101101110011101000010000001110100011011110010000001110000011101010111010000100000011011010111100100100000011000100110000101110011011010010110110001101001011100110110101100100000011010010110111000100000011101010111001000100000011000110110100001100001011011010110001001100101011100100010000001101111011001100010000001110011011001010110001101110010011001010111010001110011?” baekhyun reads. “are you serious?” (psa: in pirate language, which is what their conversation is in, zeros are read as boop and ones are read as beep. so baekhyun is really saying “boop beep beep boop beep boop boop…”) mcgonagall considers giving them another detention for breathing.

chanyeol nods. they’re both silent for a beat. he clears his throat. “so? are you going to respond to my feels?” 

baekhyun nods. “k but first throw me against that wall and make me cry. i’ve only cried three times during this fic and heather likes it when i cry over four times in one sitting.”

“okay,” chanyeol replies. “that seems fair.” 

chanyeol throws baekhyun against the wall. dumbledore gives three hundred sixty ten thousand points to gryffindor when he sees it and takes a hundred from slytherin. 

baekhyun stands up from the rubble and throws himself into chanyeol’s arms. they’re now married because pirates don’t ever hug unless they’re married. baekhyun smiles and takes chanyeol’s hand.

baekhyun clears his throat nervously. chanyeol looks over at him. “what’s up, baekhyun?” 

“oh nothing much,” baekhyun replies. “it’s just that 01101000011010010010000001101001100100100110110100100000011010110110100101101101001000000110101001101111011011100110011101101001011011100010111000100000011010011001001001101101001000000111010001101000011001010010000001110111011100100110100101110100011001010111001000100000011101000110100001100001011101000010000001101100011010010111011001100101011100110010000001101110011001010111100001110100001000000110010001101111011011110111001000101110001000000111001101100101011001010010000001111001011011110111010100100000011101000110111101101101011011010111001001101111011011110111011100100001.” 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ya welc happy secret santa


End file.
